Jack sluggishly comes home after a night of intense partying, and is dead tired and hung over. He walks through his room, and plops onto his bed, and is instantly asleep. A few seconds later, the alarm clock hits 7 o' clock in the morning, Jack's day needs to begin. Jack struggles to get up, and after multiple attempts, falls back into slumber, and sleeps like a rock.
Seeing Jack's struggle, the inanimate objects around his room start coming to life. The alarm clock, whose main duty is to wake Jack up every morning to start his day comes closer, and rings its alarm. First it rings like normal, then louder, then louder, that loud enough to make Jack's ear bleed and shake the entire room. Despite the efforts, Jack is still asleep, in a twisted position. The alarm clock gets serious, and arms and hands appear out of its body, and start "physically" waking Jack. Even after all the slaps to the face, and physical abuse, Jack is still asleep, bruised. All this ruckus has failed to wake up Jack, but has woken up another...
The bed Jack is sleeping on wakes up from its slumber, and is on the wrong side of itself (wrong side of the bed, get it?). The bed is on its evil side, and the alarm clock discovers it has been draining Jack's energy, the real reason he can't get up. Learning this, the alarm clock begins to fight the mattress to save Jack's life, and to keep him from being late. Despite the efforts, the alarm clock is not strong enough to defeat the bed.
Seeing the alarm clock's struggle, other objects around the room start coming to life. These other inanimate objects are the clock's friends, and assists it in battle. The mattress is no match for the power of friendship, and is defeated. Jack instantly wakes up, and quickly gets ready. Already behind schedule, Jack quickly gets dressed, and grabs his backpack and car keys, and runs out the room in a hurry.
The objects celebrate their victory in the room, and dance and cheer each other on for their valiant efforts.
Seeing the alarm clock's struggle, other objects around the room start coming to life. These other inanimate objects are the clock's friends, and assists it in battle. The mattress is no match for the power of friendship, and is defeated. Jack instantly wakes up, and quickly gets ready. Already behind schedule, Jack quickly gets dressed, and grabs his backpack and car keys, and runs out the room in a hurry.
The objects celebrate their victory in the room, and dance and cheer each other on for their valiant efforts.
(this story shifts the main character from the person trying to wake up to one of the objects in the room, probably the alarm clock...)
Great story james I like that fact that you switched up the story to make all the props keeping him from sleeping instead of the other way around. For the beginning of the story if i can suggest to change begging and have him coming back from a long day at school it will be more relating to us students. And you can have the backpack and notebook etc. help out the clock fight the pillows or bed.
ReplyDeleteInstead of making his ears bleed go straight to the part where the clock comes to life and slaps him around a bit might help you jump into the climax of the story and with the timing of animating it when you get there.
I really enjoyed the great idea for the bed and clock to fight. And fighting for your main character to wake up and the bed to keep him asleep but I suggest for the sake of the timing and project have the clock fight the pillows so it becomes a 2 vs 1 scenario. And then you can make the school supplies jump in. Great start and very interesting concept i enjoyed reading about this and can't wait to see were you go from here well done.
The following paragraph describes an idea which I cannot imagine being communicated visually:
ReplyDeleteThe bed Jack is sleeping on wakes up from its slumber, and is on the wrong side of itself (wrong side of the bed, get it?). The bed is on its evil side, and the alarm clock discovers it has been draining Jack's energy, the real reason he can't get up. Learning this, the alarm clock begins to fight the mattress to save Jack's life, and to keep him from being late. Despite the efforts, the alarm clock is not strong enough to defeat the bed.
How will this be shown???? This is a very large problem and concerns me a great deal.
Why does Jack “instantly wake up” after the battle? Can he see the effects of this battle? How did the mattress fight if Jack is on the mattress?
Who is the hero of the story? You mention the hero switching to the alarm clock. It doesn’t switch – but should always be the alarm clock. What is the tone of this story? Focus on finding the entertainment value in every event, every scene.
If you decide to pursue this story – cut the beginning and start with Jack sleeping and the alarm rings.